Thursday, 18 January 2018


The idea of a Minister for Loneliness is profoundly sinister.  The Tory Party is transmogrifying at an ever accelerating rate.  I have a view, a sort of general theory, that we, as humans, are in a continuous process of becoming consciously aware of the truth of our existence.  Part of this seems evident in the way that we persistently reveal our unconscious existence, via the material world, to our conscious mind.  It would be a bit heavy duty to try to justify that argument here but I see it continuously in the arena of abuse.  The more people hide from their own pain by attempting to deny it any conscious recognition then the more they behave in a manner which externalises their worst fears for all to see.

This idea is not new.  It is referenced (chronologically) in the I Ching, by Pythagoras, Plotinus, the Talmud, Rumi, Freud, Jung, and most schools of psychology since.  It is an axiom of much philosophy echoed in ideas such as that by discovering more about the world we are actually discovering more about ourselves.  This whole crystal ball of revelation includes what we experience both as good and evil.  It is almost the raw bones of existentialism and linguistic philosophy.  We are interpreting a world that mirrors ourselves.  A beautiful poetic illustration of this idea is summed up by Plotinus "Never did eye see the sun unless it had first become sunlike, and never can the soul have vision of the First Beauty unless itself be beautiful."

So what exactly is going on with our good leader, Theresa May, appointing a Minister for Loneliness?  We know she doesn't give a damn about the people, the actual living people, in this country.  What?  You disagree?  In order to avoid too much digression I will clarify that by saying that she may have sentimental feelings which she interprets as caring about people when she is at home with friends or drifting off to sleep at night but as Prime Minister of the UK she continues to interpret the world in such a way that she promotes and advances policies that evidently erode the social fabric and escalate the harm caused to the least well off in Britain.  She continues to support the wealthy and their tax havens as they pillage the country of all its wealth with the help of her government.  You don't need examples such as Grenfell and Carillion to prove the case but they do a fine job of highlighting the effects of her and her Party's policies.  Her government, and May specifically, vowed to re-house the survivors of Grenfell within three weeks.  Why?  To externalise her desire to appear, maybe even to herself, as a caring and compassionate human.  But they are still not re-housed.  She helps the Saudis bomb Yemen in secret whilst publically exhibiting serious concern for the devastating consequences for the people in Yemen.  But there are too many ways to illustrate that May's evident purpose is to convince the public that her concerns reflect their concerns; that she is what she thinks they want her to be.  It is the act of attempting to convince people rather than the act of being genuine.  It follows that she does not care, in any meaningful way, because it is an evident pretence.

I am not sure what world she lives in but mental health has risen on the political agenda in recent years.  It has risen largely because of the increasing number of problems becoming evident in that domain.  Those problems are mostly a consequence of a fundamental breakdown of a sense of social security.  This is clearly created and illustrated by the most horrible regime of the DWP and the privatisation and profiteering by vetting doctors assessments with corporate tick box exclusion mechanisms with targets.  I won't go on at this point but suffice it to say that Ken Loach's "I, Daniel Blake" will forever stand as a cultural indictment against this government and their ruthless democidal extravagances.

The Tories are clearly losing ground in the political tug of war and there have been numerous attempts recently to increase their share of the public vote.  They have even announced their intent to impress more people with very feeble and flawed policies they say are addressing the concerns of the younger voters such as housing and green issues.  But it is all vacuous, smoke and mirrors, and bluster.  They are perversely attempting to analyse the reasons for Jeremy Corbyn's popularity and Labour's rapidly increasing demographic reach with the sole objective of imitating them to steal their thunder to gain power to continue their ravages against the population of this country for their own benefit.  They are genuinely hideous parasitic beasts.

In attending to the welfare of people in this country the Tories have succeeded in even alerting the UN to their criminal inhumanity.  All their actions with respect to helping the poor have been aimed at getting rid of the poor.  They are not concerned with helping the poor out of poverty but in riding this country of poor people.  They do it in a number of ways including changing definitions and measuring points by which we count poverty.  They devise complicated methods of removing people from categories such as unemployed by fuelling what is called the gig economy, by advancing tax credits, by obstruction using sanctions and what has been judicially cast as slavery in their demands that people do voluntary work for their euphemised 'benefits'.  They encourage and enforce zero hours contracts to remove people from the status of unemployed whilst they are still receiving nothing for their efforts.  Their utter destruction of support for disabled people is almost beyond belief.  These policies are no accident.  These policies are well crafted methods of shrouding their greed and cruelty with a veil of good intention.  These policies are not made up in a back room but rather they are the sophisticated results of studying psychology, sociology, and methods of manipulation and controlling the populations.

We look back in recent history and begin to realise how the two World Wars were driven by the industrialisation of robbery with violence.  The world has moved on and it is less successful to pursue those obvious and transparent industrial methods and so more clandestine ways must be found.  Britain moved from its industrial base to a service economy during the 1980s and what I believe we are seeing is the evolution of the methods of these criminals to something akin to a service based approach to render their objectives of rape, pillage, death, and destruction for their own warped and demonic aspirations.  So the impetus to address mental health issues, for example, has rendered what is described by some as oppressive coercion by putting counsellors in every school, installing 'work coaches' in job centres, and establishing 'talking therapies' as the only available psychological assistance which is designed primarily to keep the chickens quiet whilst they are having their necks wrung.

What continues to happen is that people raise legitimate issues and concerns and the Tories process these topics through their tragically egocentric cognition and render an illusion of addressing the matter whist materially benefiting themselves.  They see this as good business; "What's in it for me?"  The culture, meanwhile, is so distorted by these egocentric authoritarian paradigms that, so far, the majority of the public are clearly fooled by these warped and distorted interpretations and proposed political policies to address the issues in the world.  All the time the evidence is mounting that the rulers are criminally insane and so, inevitably, their attempts to disguise reality are compelled to escalate to a new level.  You really can't criticise someone who wants to help lonely people so obviously the Tories want to appear to be concerned about lonely people.  They are so up their own backsides, to coin a phrase, that they create a Minister for Loneliness to impress the ignorant plebs (to use one of their own terms).

Altercast people as lonely with a feigned concern for their condition and they will interpret their own condition as lonely and will have no choice but to be grateful for the meagre cold bowl of companion gruel they are offered.  There is no accident here.  These are well studied methods of sociopolitical control.  This is the utilisation of information technology, metadata, and complex analytical algorithms, as a service based approach to creating mass ontological insecurity to the point of destroying the manufactured poor.  It is a self consuming, self contradictory, parasitic, and very sophisticated manifestation of the cruelty which the perpetrators are pathologically compelled to deny within themselves.  They are externalising their pain by projecting it onto others in order to manifest it in the world to be seen and acknowledged.  This is the very worst of humanity.

It is perhaps worth bearing in mind that what causes this 'evil' is the simple act of denying reality in the first place.  The evil is the imbalance, the distortion, the deviation from what is good.  It is not that we, as humans, are fundamentally evil and wish to deny it, but rather that we are vulnerable, sensitive, and creative and dare not own it because we are afraid of our own power.  It is actually the denial of the reality that is the evil.  But evil it is.  And, as far as I can determine, the denial of reality is most prevalent in the minds of those who wish to judge, demonise, and control others.  It is inherent in the Tory mindset to cling on to an internal construct of what the world 'should be' and to scream, fight, control, damage, and destroy all evidence in the real world that threatens to counter their desperate internal construct which is, by definition, a delusion.  In their denial of reality they are destroying reality and the evidence is clear for anyone who is looking with their eyes open.  We, collectively, are raising our subconscious knowledge into our conscious awareness and whilst we deny reality we deny ourselves.  Whilst we destroy reality we destroy ourselves.  All of this is only the consequence of a refusal to be what we are.  So we end up experiencing the denial instead of the reality.

Tories are now hoist by their own petard insofar as they have to maintain the illusion of their own goodness reflected in the magic mirror of their distorted world.  They have no choice, they are compelled, they are inevitably and inextricably drawn by their own denial into ever more ridiculous demonstration of their goodness.  It is clearly nonsense to have a Minister for Loneliness since that is one small category of emotional distress which is a mental or emotional health issue which comes under the auspices of the Department of Health and Social Security which they dismantled in the first place.  They cannot 'help' the lonely and will only make matters worse by attempting to force them to integrate with the Tory mindset which is probably a significant cause of the problem in the first place.  They will also attempt to draw people out from the shadows who are hiding from the dysfunctional Neoliberal State in order to coral them into the convenient pens for future slaughter.  The next thing, of course, will be to demonise them for costing the tax payer too much.  This nonsense, which is off the scale of toy town politics can only end in disaster.

I can't think of any other example of such trite, fatuous, and glaringly nonsensical government stupidity.  How utterly ludicrous to create a Minister for Loneliness.  What next?  A Minister for fucking Toe Nails?

Sunday, 7 January 2018


One week into January 2018.  In that week it seems I have lost two friends.  They've not died, just deserted me.  On one level it hardly matters but on another level it is profoundly upsetting.  It is upsetting because piece by piece the connections with some group, some history, some society, are being eroded and severed leaving me adrift in a world which makes no sense and one which I clearly don't belong to.

I can sense the fear.  It seems to be what often happens to children when their parents divorce.  Their friends at school, usually with no awareness of why, simply don't want to associate with them anymore.  They become ostracised and isolated.  It is not long before they become the object of criticism and cruelty.  It looks like an animal instinct of avoiding the sick, the weak, or the injured in the group.  These erstwhile friends are shunning me as a consequence of the breakup of the family.  In part they don't want to be associated with me lest they end up on the wrong side of the fence with the outcast, the leper, the mutant disease of the family.

We all have a diverse range of emotions and to some degree we need to express them.  I have a good friend with whom I can vent my frustration and fury about the state of the world.  There is a kind of adult consent.  For a while the internet provided an outlet for that rage.  I could make my criticisms of the social structure, the conventional norms, or the downright misconceptions of the culture.  In part the reason was anonymity.  By having a pseudonym, a Nom de Grrr, people who knew me didn't have to read it.  And there are people out there, the minority of course, who feel the same way.  They appreciate the expression because it begins to create another group of like minded people with which they can identify.

Another point that needs to be brought into this mix is that in needing someone to understand and accept us, parents all too often seem to think their captive innocents, their children, are some God given gift that they are free to abuse.  A plain sheet of paper upon which to spill their darkest ink.  Our culture has created the isolated family home, the hidden back room where torture and abuse can be played out with impunity and no one outside has the right to interfere or even express an opinion.  It is rife in our culture to the point that all institutions in the hierarchy from the education system to the government, rely on, utilise, and protect, this secret inner chamber of horrors.

The internet is facilitating the breakdown of the medieval castle and as it collapses the horrors and turmoil are spilling across communities.  The facade of respectability defends itself with expressed outrage at the crimes being exposed and attempts to bolster the charade by publically decrying the evils.  But these hideous writhing creatures emerging from the depths of the rubble are mere scapegoats and whipping boys for the monsters still compelled by the urge to dispose of their distress by injecting it into others.

My mother used to lock me in the porch "And you'll stay there until your father gets home." It wasn't as nightmarish as it sounds because the porch was cold but I was allowed a dressing gown and my father would just send me back to bed when he came in.  I would spend hours in that porch most often for something I had not done.  The internal dynamics of dysfunctional families are complex and unfathomable.  I don't recall the girls being punished in this way, just the boys.  Maybe my mother felt righteous in beating her daughters but was somehow inhibited from beating her sons lest it break their manhood.  Who can tell what is going on in the minds of these disturbed individuals.

But now I feel imprisoned and isolated in the porch of my life.  Those on the outside dare not break the spell, they dare not question the current arrangement, the power structure that appears to maintain their survival.  They collude with, and protect, the hideous abuse lest they get singled out and dragged screaming and undefended to the torture chamber within.  They know, by their own acceptance and compliance, that no one would come to their defence.  They know it is wrong but they are caught by their own sense of guilt at being party to it.

Of course we will continue to vote for and support, hail and promote, the most hideous, the most stupid, the most judgemental authoritarians amongst us, because it protects the failing hierarchical structure which currently appears to sustain us in our secret guilt.  We are victims of our own inhumanity.  We will rally round those opposing authority in other lands because it is a proxy for our own resentment whilst we dare not stand against our own oppressors.  We are tragic cowards clinging on to a life with no meaning, no substance, and certainly no value.

I have no desire to be here on this planet in this form.  I am isolated, scorned, blamed for others' failings, and deprived of any reasonable existence.  But I am here, with a daughter who I would not desert even to save my own soul.  My most sincere regret is that I was in any way responsible for bringing her into this conscious material existence.  All I can do, contained in the porch of my life, is hope that what I imagined might be possible can still happen for her.  Maybe humanity can turn some corner, maybe collectively we can alter course from this insane decent into hell.  Maybe another world is possible.  I might never know it, but if she finds herself in a good place, all of my suffering will have been worthwhile.

I am trapped in an echo chamber ringing with the cries of the lost souls around me.  I am immersed in a pit of their disowned failings and guilt.  I am smothered by their failure to deal with their own problems and choking on their desperation to hide it from themselves.  I am decaying and dissolving in the corrosive waste of humanity.  Roll on 2018.

Monday, 1 January 2018


Maybe I should determine to write a post every day in 2018.  It would be more sensible to aim at 4 or 5 a week.  That would either give me the weekends off or allow me almost 2 days per blog.  I could take another approach and aim to do 180 posts in the year and pace myself leaving space for a hypothetical holiday.

One problem I have keeping a blog is that it is not focused.  When I started writing on the internet it was primarily anything at all.  Pages like Something Interesting which takes a perspective on the vast complexity of the universe by examining the number of possibilities in a simple 8 by 8 grid of black and white squares.  I find this kind of enquiry useful and revealing when considering other complex issues related to science, politics, or even one's personal life.  Then there were pages like Do Aliens Wear Ties? which was a meandering ramble about the protocol of wearing ties in society whilst also being a suitable subject to attempt to advance my forays into affiliate marketing (which came to nought).  Of course I couldn't resist incidentally playing with the HTML and CSS to get a graded text colour from black to green.  It wasn't long before I was writing pages like God won't save stupid people! and weird satire like ICHTHYS FISH.

All of this was happening as the likes of Facebook and Twitter were being born and soon I was drawn into writing pages about issues in the world of politics.  Pages on the Arab spring like Egypt and the evolving Simulacra.  Then there was the profound information earthquake as WikiLeaks released the Collateral Murder video which I immediately became concerned about and put up pages like Julian Assange and WikiRebels: The Documentary.

As my own life was cascading uncontrollably down the rock strewn abyss of global neoliberalism I became more and more immersed in the collapse of Western Civilisation and, as it turns out, the possible collapse of humanity per se.  I was writing pages like Education or Indoctrination?... a potted history of state education and I BLAME THE PARENTS introducing Philip Zimbardo and his insights into the subjects of good and evil.  And there were the thousands and thousands of words written about my own personal difficulties including the well documented complaint against the Children Services at Children Services Abuse: Main Index.

I became quite perplexed at how the minutia of my life was mirroring the monumental happenings on the global stage (or vice versa).  Of course my interpretation of my personal world would affect my interpretation of global events but I knew that there was something else going on.  I won't begin to attempt to dissect and explain it now (perhaps that's a subject for the 180 posts in 2018) but with the accelerating growth of social media it became clear that I was not the only one experiencing this phenomenon.  I began more soul searching and wrote posts like Facing the terror and This Dystopian Matrix of Illusion.

My poor head, or rather my cognitive conceptual field, is boiling furiously with a billion issues ranging from the microscopic to the macroscopic and from the personal to the global.  I am constantly comparing conceptual patterns in the realms of quantum physics to the collective global existential crisis.  I have a million things I want to say and no time to say it.  I am undisciplined in my pursuits and end up quite incredibly frustrated and consequently distressed.  So perhaps it is worth my while attempting to construct an approach, a methodology, a regime, for formulating at least some of my ideas in a half way coherent manner.  Perhaps I should commit to 180 blog posts in 2018 which could possibly be aimed at a book or at least something constructive and meaningful.

In the mean time you will just have to follow this blog or email me from the slightly odd contact page on Toxic Drums and I will endeavour to keep you notified of progress.  Maybe I will write 180 blog posts and maybe I won't.

Friday, 27 October 2017


There is something so desperately warped about our collective common cognitive construction.  Or, to put it another way, our culture is fucked.

To start with many people will have heard various explanations of how money is debt and therefore not what we think it is but few really understand that.  A simplified explanation is that what it all boils down to is that someone writes an IOU note and gives it to you.  Now they have the real wealth, the potatoes or whatever, and you have a piece of paper.  We call that piece of paper 'money'.  It is the person holding the money that is 'without' something.  Of course it has the potential to 'buy' some strawberries so on that level it works.  But because we think of money as something in itself and as representing wealth there is the correlate that if you have more money you have more 'wealth' and the possibility of more strawberries and this seems like a good thing.

So why do pirates bury their treasure?  It seems an anomaly to bury treasure.  The only purpose of treasure is what it can acquire for you.  By burying it you remove the only value it has.  And yet, in the most bizarre twist of perception, that is exactly what the wealthy elite do.  Why are there all these tax havens created, supported, and defended by what I call right wing thugs but others call the Tories?  They are the desert islands where they bury their treasure.  Their 'treasure' is debt.  They are accumulating and hiding all the 'debt', all the negative aspect of our existence.  In their minds it makes them better off.  This is exactly what is described in other dimensions of our conceptualisation of reality as 'sanctimonious hypocrisy'.  People who wish to paint themselves to look good on the outside, hiding all the detritus on the inside.

Now consider a graph for a moment.  Think of the cross hairs in front of you with little tick marks along the X (left to right) and Y (up and down) axes (that's not the "more than one axe" 'axes' but the "more than one" axis 'axes' - so when I say I need many axes to deal with the Tory government it may appear ambiguous to some) ... anyway, back to the axes of the graph.  In the top right quadrant imagine a sales chart zigzag line but on average travelling horizontally.  This represents the fluctuating 'money' through time (the X axis).  Capitalists need this line to be going up rather than flat or going down.  If the natural state of the universe is horizontal they don't like that and they use a little trick of rotating the axes slightly clockwise without moving the line.  Now, if you tilt your head to the right, and squint a bit, you can see that, relative to the axes, the zigzag is going 'up'.  So now you can put the graph back but bring the new offset zigzag with it.  Now your business is doing well.  Now put a sustainable zigzag where you had the original and rotate the graph clockwise to see where your 'sustainable' line has gone relative to the actual framework that existed prior to the bending of reality by the capitalist to make their 'sustainable' line look 'profitable' to them.  You have suddenly gone into decline.

Now rub all that out and consider another revealing aspect of the graphical representation of 'wealth'.  Instead of a zigzag we'll use a straight line this time.  So a horizontal line from left to right indicates the natural state of sustainable progress.  If the line is heading downwards as it crosses the X axis it takes a sudden turn for the worse.  It starts heading downwards faster.  We all know this symptom of 'getting into debt'.  There are various factors that play into it and they are not relevant here except to note that the reduction of interest rates by the IMF etc. are attempts to limit the damage caused by this crossing over into 'negative equity'.  The problem with that is that by rotating the graph (changing interest rates in this case) they are reducing the decline of those in debt but the effect on those who are increasing their wealth is to make it go up more sharply.  As they panic and attempt to nudge the rotation such that they increase interest rates to hold down the escalating wealth at the top they plunge those in debt back into a steeper down turn.  (They have run into some fundamental and profound problems.)

And here is the thing: with all this manipulating of our perception of reality via our back to front interpretation of money two things become evident.  The first thing is that people who are maintaining a steady line in debt are actually making good headway except for the problem of where the "zero" line is placed.  In other words, if you simply took the X-axis and put it further down, the people maintaining a horizontal line would now be in the positive region without the dragging effect of the 'debt' and would be making a 'profit'.  The other notable point is that we have already established our 'positive' representation of money is up-side-down which translates to the top of the graph being the negative area and the bottom being the positive numbers.  So if you flip the graph upside down you can see that all the rules still apply as before except that it is the 'wealthy' who are plunging this world, or our existence in it, into spiralling debt, whilst the rest of us poor buggers are actually doing perfectly fine.

These effects can so easily be seen with issues like the ecological costs of industry which are not accounted for in their 'profit making' models.  We are becoming so indebted to nature that it is simply unsustainable.  Although people seem to 'know' this they also seem to have an incredibly hard time trying to either explain it to someone else or even to themselves.  Hence works like Naomi Klein's "This changes everything" and Thomas Piketty's "Capital in the Twenty-First Century".  Both are essentially correct in their postulations but both find it hard to resolve the conundrum because they are accidentally trapped in a linguistic construct which is paradoxically incorrect.

And I have a lot to say about this fuckwit idea spawned from the hideous demonic minds of the Tories to put 'bed-blocking' patients in people's homes to alleviate the pressure on the NHS.  This is as stupid as their private finance initiative (PFI) which is now costing the NHS in excess of £4,000 every minute (and that is from the 'official' figures).  The problem with putting patients in people's homes, (yes - ordinary people's homes - the idea is to effectively 'rent' spare rooms from people!) is that you have to ask the question "Why is it cheaper to rent rooms in houses than to keep people in a bed in hospital?"  The first response might be that there is a lot of expensive equipment and staff and stuff in hospitals.  But this is spurious because a bed on a ward is not using all that expensive equipment etc.  That notion is gleaned from averaging the overall hospital costs and dividing it by the number of beds.  That is stupid precisely because it leads the numbskull into thinking that each patient costs the same and allows such stupidity as to perceive the expensive act of privately renting someone's room as 'cheaper'.  But it couldn't be cheaper.  It is far more efficient on resources to have your 20 patients in a ward than to have 20 private accommodation bills.  But this is EXACTLY the stupidity of the Tory mindset.

I hate these fuckers with a vengeance because they are full of shit and pathologically driven to puke it all up over the rest of us.  The weird thing is they are not even evil.  They haven't the fucking intelligence to be evil.  They are so fucking dead from the neck up they can't even be considered human.  They are criminally insane.  That is pretty well a scientifically provable fact.  Stuff all this post truth alternative fact shit and let's look at reality.  The lunatics, the exceptionally malicious warped demonic fuckheads, are running the show.

And that's me just trying to wake up in the morning because I can't sleep.

Wednesday, 19 July 2017


Down the fucking garden looking for my fucking pitchforks and torches again.  Is there no let up, no reprieve, no rest for the mere wicked like me.  I'm cussing and swearing to myself about those fucking BBC employees getting all that money for sitting around on their fat fucking arses enjoying themselves at the expense of the hardworking TV licence payer.  They should be ashamed of themselves parading their opulent wealth to the impoverished austerity plebs in this economically thriving Britain.  Wait a minute; economically thriving Britain, impoverished plebs?  There seems some contradiction there.  Never mind I haven't the time or the energy to think about that now; I'm too fucking angry about these rich bastards.

Oh, there's Dave the fucking supercilious twat next door tending to his pretty little garden and always minding everybody else's business.  What's your problem Dave?  I don't suppose you give a fuck about those BBC presenters ripping off Britain and wallowing in money stolen from the proletariat.  It's the likes of them what make you and me so poor.  Well I guess you think you're one of the well off with your nicely mown 30 square foot of Roundup and your potted peculiars decorating your front porch.

What was that?  DUP, £1 billion pounds?  Billions gifted to Israel every year?  Lashings of money to the Chinese for an uneconomic Nuclear power plant?  50 billion railway extension?  What the fuck are you talking about?  I don't know about those complicated political matters, I'm just a normal guy who's fucking angry about the BBC presenters.  I hate Dave.  He always has to spoil a good soap box diatribe with some stupid esoteric facts that no one in their right mind gives a fuck about.  Why do I care about Neoliberal political philosophy?  I'm just a poor ignorant peasant.  I leave that stuff up to the experts running the country.

Now where did I put those fucking pitchforks?

Wednesday, 12 July 2017


Social cleansing and democide.

Dear [Chief Executive Officer]

As a child I was bewildered by images of Nazi death camps.  How could ordinary people end up building railways, infrastructure, and camps to oppress and murder swathes of other people?  I have given this phenomenon a great deal of thought over the years.  There is a lot that has been studied and written about this aspect of the human condition.  Many perspectives contribute usefully to a better understanding of how these disasters come about.  Those perspectives involve psychology, sociology, political theory, statistical analysis, mathematical theories, emergent behaviour, complex systems, fiscal policies, and so much more.

Having found myself financially vulnerable I naturally turned to the Council (amongst others) for whatever assistance was deemed reasonable in today's society in Britain.  I have been attempting to deal with Boston Borough Council for over a year now and I am deeply shocked at what I have encountered.  I refer you to my letters of 10 April 2017 and 8 June 2017 to remind you of some of the issues that are currently impacting upon me.  It seems that the Council's attempts, with their current methods and paradigms, to address and ameliorate the situation are, in fact, exacerbating matters and peculiarly escalating the convoluted, inconsistent, deceptive, and harmful mode of operation.  It seems analogous to a fermenting decomposition that is out of control.

Being somewhat knowledgeable and experienced in software development it is interesting to note that there is a phenomenon referred to as software decomposition.  It occurs when software is constantly altered in an attempt to remove what are called bugs.  Without a proper overview and a deep understanding of the underlying structure the net effect is that the "fixes" increase the complexity and throw up more unexpected and unrelated errors.  The software begins to decompose.  From my perspective in dealing with the Council this phenomenon is quite evidently occurring within the Council.

At the start of this letter I referred to that old cultural icon of the Nazi death camps.  My reason for that reference was to draw attention to the decomposition of British society today.  We are building a sociopolitical infrastructure which is emulating the guiding of the most vulnerable people via procedural railways to virtual incarceration and ultimately psychological and physical destruction.  Grenfell Tower was not a random accident.  No amount of looking for someone to blame is going to resolve the problem.  That would be akin to thinking you could have stopped the Aberfan disaster by finding the one stone that started it all.

So what has brought me to writing this letter to you?  What scale of disaster could possibly have occurred that is so serious I should be writing to the Chief Executive of the Council, my Doctor, my local MP, and others alluding to social cleansing and democide?  It is a remarkably minor incident.  I have been sent a Summons.  Taken out of context, as if everything else were functioning well, the Summons could be viewed as a minor incident which could be handled perfectly satisfactorily in its own right like a parking ticket.  Taking it out of context, however, would be to deliberately ignore the underlying problem and consequently be aiding and abetting the catastrophic context in which it exists.

What is remarkable about this Summons is how small and inconsequential it is in itself; like a small stone in the Aberfan disaster.  I don't know if it is normal practice for the Council to Apply to the Courts immediately the first month of Council Tax becomes overdue but it certainly seems extreme and ridiculous.  It is all the more surprising that the Council, who not only know I do not have enough money to live but have written to me acknowledging that fact and we are in discussions about the situation and I have been assured this would not happen, that they instigate this procedure attaching £75 of costs thereby increasing the debt they wish to impose by 284% for being a month overdue.  Wonga springs to mind and I didn't even borrow the money in the first place.

What could possibly be the meaning of discussions if the Council ignore the content of the discussion and carry on as if nothing had occurred?  In fact it isn't even that is it?  This action is clearly a consequence of those discussions.  It has somehow been unusually prompted by the current events and communications between myself and the Council.  It is, in fact, a startling "up yours" announcement from the Council.  And the disturbing thing is, it is done with legal instruments.  The Council are using the law to actively abuse me.

Not only have the Council hounded and assaulted us for over a year but I have written to explain that.  The Council, for fear of being exposed, immediately addressed the issue albeit insufficiently.  The Council have driven one of us to the point of attempting suicide.  [Dave] has consequently left the area because he cannot survive in this town and has found a more supportive community in Wales.  So the Council didn't quite succeed in killing him but they did get rid of him.  On a national scale this is social cleansing which is not only recognised internationally as a crime against humanity but it is also, in specific cases, clearly counter to any and all espoused and postulated values and intentions.

It really is quite stunning to any sentient, conscious, or rational entity that the Council could have caused such harm to a member of the community and, having been informed of the consequences of their actions and recognising their part in the events, they should not only continue the same behaviour but escalate it to the point of lying to me in a meeting and consequently scraping the bottom of the barrel for any trace of the same mechanism of assault available to them by issuing an Application to the Court for the paltry sum of £40.77.

It really is as if they are entertained by the harm they are causing.  Their behaviour is reminiscent of a child poking an injured bird with a stick.  It has an air of being so innocent, so child like, it lacks even the faintest trace of personal responsibility.  It is fundamentally institutionalised sociopathic behaviour.  It is attempted murder by any general sense of the meaning of that phrase quite regardless of any delineated definition in statute law.

The bigger issue here and what equates to the same constructs that give rise to genocide is that the DWP are also failing and the medical profession is hamstrung  with respect to addressing or dealing with the catastrophic harm being perpetrated by this current Government through its various bloodsucking tendrils via institutions like the Council.

I will be a little harsh here by way of attempting to convey my position clearly.  You may, and certainly some do, find it amusing that I would get so distressed by such a petty bureaucratic vexation.  But the malicious humour would only be a disguise for the inherent inner knowledge of the fundamental transgression against what it is to be human.  Nothing but a human could snigger or scoff at such a self evident, self contradictory, and cruelly harmful state of affairs.  Not only are you party to killing us but you want to hide that fact from public view by way of hiding it from your own conscious awareness.  You want impunity to continue to destroy those around you.

The current limited paradigms by which our culture attempts to interpret these events are now the cause of the problem.  Somehow we have to move beyond this simplistic, rather ignorant, anti-intellectual, dogmatic, authoritarian, oppressive, and catastrophically destructive mode of operation.

To conclude by bringing this letter to what could be interpreted as a more practical level I will explain what needs to happen.  The Council, in line with their purported intentions, need to pay the full rent on our current home.  They need to clear us of any Council Tax Liability.  The DWP need to provide whatever is required to meet the financial demands placed on us by this society to have the bare essentials to live in a half way civilised manner.  The NHS needs to put some serviceable resource into attending to the psychological and now physiological damage that has been inflicted on us by the actions of the Council and the DWP.  Then we could achieve a stable situation in which my daughter and I could recover and begin to be a productive asset to this community.  Failing that, your only justification for being employed is to continue to do harm to us to keep your job.  It is a salient observation that it cost this country well in excess of £20,000 to deal with [Dave] for the three weeks following his attempted suicide because you couldn't afford him his statutory pittance to live.

Do something creative and humane about this please.

Yours sincerely

Thursday, 6 July 2017


Still image from the film Recoil.

Recoil is an abstract non-narrative film possibly more relevant today even than it was in 1981.

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Recoil is a short 10 minute film made by Nik Allday in 1981.  The concept originated with raw material of video feedback and some sparse nuclear bomb footage available at the time.  The idea was to represent in abstract form the cruel chaotic dysfunctional nature of the human condition with all its potential for self destruction.  It was conceived as a manifestation of wretched anger, fury, and regret.  A story board was constructed and the diagrams created and slowly the concept began to take shape.

Title screen.

The sound track needed to dynamically compliment and substantially echo the tortured demonic soul of the film.  Cabaret Voltaire seemed like a natural choice and so Nik approached Stephen Mallinder with the project to see if he would be interested in assisting in creating the audio component.  Cabaret Voltaire inhabited part of an old factory in Sheffield at the time called Western Works where they had their sound studio.  Mal seemed to like the idea and so work began and multiple tracks were laid down.  With Nik's conceptual perspective and Mal's creative talent and technical skills a masterpiece of distorted, rhythmic, cacophonous, soundscape was manifest and mixed down to a master quarter inch tape.

Some credits.

All the raw visual material was transferred to high contrast black and white film and the editing began.  It took many weeks of dedication and endless late nights to cut the film, coordinate the sequences, and to meld the abstract construct into the contiguous, throbbing, undulating, violent, distorted, and nihilistic masterpiece that is Recoil.  At the time of its initial release there were various reactions some of the more memorable being that it should have a health warning and that it would be better called the migraine machine.  There were one or two voices that claimed it was a work of genius too.

Apart from a few private viewings in the late 1980s Recoil slowly vanished into obscurity languishing in some inaccessible oblivion.  Life continued and Recoil became a distant nostalgic memory alive and well in my mind but out of reach in the real world.  Until, one day, I found a worn out copy in a box in a garage.  The hunt was on.  I searched through the rotting mass of furniture, collapsing cardboard boxes, old art work, and even a decaying cat corpse, and eventually located several almost archaeological remnants of the original material for Recoil.

16mm optical sound track in good condition.

I was delighted when I found the original quarter inch tape of the soundtrack but to my horror it had degraded and was suffering what is called "sticky-shed syndrome".  This appears to be a problem with a limited batch of tape produced in the late 1970's which used an unstable binder.  Fortunately I eventually located the original master 16mm optical track along with the original master 16mm visual film.  On further inspection these masters, shown above and below,  were well protected by their inner wrapping and appear to be in almost perfect condition.

16mm film only with no sound track.

I managed to get some equipment to view the rather worn out combined film that I found first and have extracted some still images as shown bellow.

Stills gleaned from the film.

Having contacted a variety of archive film experts it appears the two separate masters can be digitised and combined into a digital master and reproduced for a fee.  Help bring this piece of Art History back to life; contribute to this project now and please share this page because it's the only way other people get to hear about it.  You can donate by clicking the link below.

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You might also be interested in supporting my Patreon adventure by becoming a sponsor of more abstract film projects in conjunction with various artists.

Thursday, 29 June 2017


Sir Martin Moore-Bick to head Grenfell Inquiry?

Let's just have a little think about this.  I've seen too much of it before.  I respect authority.  I was brought up immersed in Roman Catholicism.  I respect authority like Jesus did.  Hypocrites garnished with outward signs of worldly authority are, to paraphrase Jesus, like whitewashed graves, pretty on the outside but full of death and decay on the inside.

I am confident that Sir Martin Moore-Bick is nothing more than a whitened sepulchre.  Do not misunderstand me; I have every sympathy for him and his efforts to varnish his image in the eyes of a God that he has perceived through his own tragically corrupt and myopic vision.  I am confident that he has expended great effort to be good in the eyes of an oppressor that he has mistakenly interpreted to be a benign God.  He is precisely theologically a devotee of Satan.  And as such I am sorry for his soul and his eternal damnation.

I have spent the best part of my life struggling to understand the apparent paradox of believing in a God who will not reveal himself and conveniently provides a fallen angel in the form of Satan who is so clever he could fool anyone.  I have represented this metaphor in my imagination as me drowning in the sea and being offered a rope to cling to from an unseen source.  Roman Catholicism (as with many organised religions) presents the case that God is offering a rope and all I have to do is trust the Lord and grab the rope.  But it is also implicit in the theology that I could not tell the difference between a rope offered by a benign God and a rope offered by Satan himself.  A veritable paradox it would seem.

I am happy to report that I have resolved the paradox.  It is not so easy for me to convey that perception in a post on the internet or I would be here to save the world and all souls in it.  But it is clear to me that anyone who damages another soul is destined for the ravages of hell fire.  There is a subtle issue to be understood here and it is that the act of damaging another soul is not the same as an interaction which results in harm to another.  If you are forced into an inevitable conflict and you struggle and those harming you are harmed then it is not you who have harmed them because they manufactured the situation in which they became harmed.  There is, to simplify it, every difference between defending what is right against the imposed forces of evil and interfering with an innocent soul for the purposes of self gratification and aggrandizement.  If you approach others in need for the sole purpose of benefiting from their plight then you are nothing more than a soulless cadaver.

I might speculate that the resolution of the drowning man allegory may lie in the notion that you are already provided with the wherewithal to swim.  It is only fear that leads you to reach out for external help and distracts you from the inner knowledge that you can swim.  Any attempt to rely on a magic or imaginary solution such as a rope from an unknown source is destined to failure.  It is not a gamble, it is a most certain failure.  You are, so to speak, in the water to swim.  If you find a way to fail yourself and not swim then you have failed.  It is almost as obvious as a simple equation.

To bring this back to Sir Martin Morbid and Grenfell Tower there is no amount of pretentious pondering and sycophantic pontificating which is going to render a satisfactory resolution to this, as yet, incomprehensible issue.  There is no external hierarchical authority that is going to fix this for the traumatised, dismayed, and confused collective masses.  There is no mileage in making a bargain with authoritarians to save our sorry souls.  There is only us.  The resolution resides in all of us and we cannot abdicate our personal human responsibility to others as if making them responsible for our lives allows us to continue to play in gay abandon believing they will protect us from ourselves.  They will not and they cannot.  All we are doing is grabbing the rope to avoid swimming and there lies the inevitable failure, the bargain with the devil, the loss of our own souls.

It is clear to the objective observer that the Grenfell disaster is the consequence of a flawed social structure.  It is immediately clear that any resolution resides in correcting that failed system.  This is not about revolution but rather revelation.  Not one of us can count ourselves as guiltless in this most dreadful manifest consequence of humanity's worst excesses.  All of us kowtow to an illusory external authority.  It is part of the very ingredients by which we arrive.  We are born vulnerable and dependent.  We absolutely rely on the efforts of others to help us grow and develop into autonomous, responsible, powerful, creative, compassionate, human adults.  Every irresponsible act as an adult towards a child or anyone vulnerable is a transgression of the natural laws by which we are bound.  There is no bargain to be made with God (using the theological allegorical construct).  God simply is.  That is how things are.  The only swapping of power, the only shifting of responsibility, to be had is against the balance of nature and, as such, with Satan.

As adults we are obliged to take personal responsibility for the society and culture in which we live.  We must collectively alter the arrangement and hierarchy of our society.  It is perfectly serviceable to have representatives whilst they are entirely vetted by the collective spirit.  It can never work to hand power over to others to rule over us.  It is not even in the nature of the beast to be able to handle that responsibility.  No small limited set of humans could ever be responsible for all others.  We can no longer tolerate this extreme distortion of power.  Every one of us is responsible for opposing abuse and oppression whenever we encounter it.  It is always easier if it is done piecemeal as we encounter it than when we allow it to get so far out of control that we have a tiny set of elite oligarchs looking after their own interests under the auspices of a hideously distorted and illusory edifice of constructed power.

There is a groundswell of intelligence rising through the hearts of the people that can lead us out of the fabricated materialistic intellectualised illusions of our abusive hierarchy.  In Britain the crest of the wave is currently in the Labour Party as led by Jeremy Corbyn.  It is not Corbyn who will lead us out of this mess, it is what he espouses and we must all understand it.  He is just the vessel resonating that which is good in all of us.  We must relieve these lost souls of the Tories and neoliberals from the burden of their own corruption.  We are not here to save their souls, they are already lost, we are here to sweep them and their ideas from the face of the earth.  If we want Grenfell to render a better future, if we want to honour the dead and the traumatised of Grenfell, if we want their lives and their suffering to mean something creative and good, then we must end this tyrannical and abusive attitude in society.

Join the Labour Party.  Talk to people.  Ignore the bullshit headlines designed to traumatise your very soul.  And if you are confused and don't understand something then look it up on the internet and solve that first puzzle in your mind for yourself.  Don't leave it to the media to lie to you.  Be active, be responsible, be creative, and you will have a happier life as well as improving the culture around you.  We have to reconstruct our cultural base, our youth centres, our libraries, our health and social welfare facilities, our education system, and our collective resources from the desolate wasteland of destruction caused by Neoliberalism and these materialistic, profit driven, Tory bastards.

Mr Sir Fucknut Morbidity himself neither can nor will render anything meaningful from his sanctimonious ivory tower of self delusion.  All he will offer is a few scapegoats and some thinly veiled excuse for why the rich and powerful were not to blame.

But there is a better future in sight now, and we must not fail to grasp it with extreme urgency.  There can be no lull, no moment to rest, no evasion of responsibility.  The elite are a wounded monster and as such they must be defeated now before they have the chance to run amok in their terror and their death throes and finally lay waste to humanity.

As Corbyn quoted Shelly at Glastonbury 2017: "Rise like lions after slumber, in unvanquishable number, shake your chains to earth like dew, which in sleep had fallen on you – ye are many, they are few."

Saturday, 10 June 2017



What cannot be understood by the control freaks, the authoritarians, the ruling class, or the general mass of unthinking people is that it is possible for people to actually think for themselves.  More than anything else Jeremy Corbyn's success is based on the fact that he represents other people's ideas.  He is not coming up with ideas that suit himself or an elite minority and telling people what to think.  He is not trying to persuade people to agree with him.  He offers thoughts and ideas rather than attempting to coerce, cajole, manipulate or otherwise force his ideas onto other people.

What is so unique about Corbyn is that he thinks deeply about things and stands up for what he believes in.  What is so unique about this current Labour surge is that there are millions upon millions of people in Britain who can think for themselves and this is the first time there is someone in politics who genuinely represents the main thrust of their own ideas.  This is a complete inversion of the normal hierarchical model of politics.  The only reason Labour are doing so well is because so many millions of people are beginning to connect with other thinking people.  This could be the beginnings of an intelligent community rather than just an intelligent elite.

Something like 80% of Labour intelligentsia could not understand this and considered Corbyn a liability.  They are still confused because they haven't yet grasped that it is not about them; it is about the millions of thinking, caring, responsible, motivated people in this country.  They cannot grasp the fact that Corbyn represents the genuine main stream grassroots views.  They still don't understand that it is not a case of persuading people to think in a particular way but rather about availing them of the opportunity to think for themselves and to have a voice.

This is why May and her cohorts cannot survive.  This is why they, the control freaks, the arrogant elitists, the sanctimonious hypocritical authoritarians, resort more and more to methods of control like deception, trickery, force, laws, rules, censorship, oppression, and violence to assert their will over other people.  They have been broken by authoritarianism and can see no other way to be right than to conform to some perceived and projected authority born of their childhood.  They don't have a core belief, only a core compulsion to conform.  Tragically this is pathological and they cannot break free because they believe they will die if they do.  This is deeply psychologically true.

A favourite quote of mine is from that weird story about a guy called JC.  I like the version in the King James Bible of 1611 where Matthew reports that JC said "But who so shall offend one of these little ones which beleeue in me, it were better for him that a milstone were hanged about his necke, and that hee were drowned in the depth of the Sea."  He wasn't talking about his egocentric self when he said "beleeue in me", he was talking about the spiritual "me" in each and every one of us.  He was talking about the core human harmony with the universe in which it exists.  He was talking about what all of us know from birth but are too often tragically distracted from by external oppression.

This Labour victory is about fundamental freedom.  Freedom from oppression.  Freedom to be who we are.  Freedom to rise to our greatest potential.  Freedom to be the sensitive, compassionate, intelligent, responsible, and creative creatures that we are.  With true freedom humans are the most beautiful creatures on this planet.  Without freedom they are the most hideous and dangerous creatures on this planet.  Humans, without doubt, are the most powerful of all known living creatures.  They have the power to become the very best of creation and to change the world.  All attempts to oppose that freedom can only ultimately result in failure.

Tuesday, 23 May 2017


America signs an arms deal with Saudi Arabia for over $100 billion.  Saudi Arabia is the historical birthplace of Wahhabism.  Wahhabism is the fundamental force influencing the evolution of the Taliban (now the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan) which spawned Al-Qaeda which mutated into ISIL (Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant) and then ISIS (Islamic State of Iraq and Syria), then Daish and now IS (Islamic State).

There was a time when armies lined up facing each other in identifiably different uniforms and fought a battle.  This evolved into the industrial warfare of the 20th century.  The UK was anxious to bomb Dresden in spite of the fact it would make no difference to the outcome of WWII.  They were driven by a need to test and demonstrate their latest idea of carpet bombing to the point of causing a firestorm which would devastate an entire city.

Israel is a modern nation state created in the aftermath of WWII.  Created by the "Western" victors in an Arab country.  Theodore Herzl, the founder of Zionism, which is the political philosophy of Israel, was clear that "We must expropriate gently the private property on the estates assigned to us." and went on to explain how to slowly isolate, ostracise, and ultimately dispose of dissenting parties.  In Operation Protective Edge conducted by Israel against the poverty stricken Arab population of Gaza in 2014 over 2000 civilians were killed which included over 500 children.  The daily death toll was proportionally 16 times greater than London during the Blitz.

The Brexit vote was a vote against unaccountable authoritarianism embodied in the EU.  The unaccountable authoritarian Tories were against leaving the EU and were inadvertently left holding the reins of enacting Brexit.  Theresa May calls a snap election to consolidate Tory power because it is perceived that the Brexit process will cause too much damage to the UK and  threaten the Tories domination and power.

The UK is the second biggest arms dealer in the world and two thirds of those arms are sold to Middle Eastern countries where instability feeds into the increased risk of terror threats to Britain and across the West.  Israel, America, Britain, and the Saudis (amongst others) are the main source of arms to the "terrorist" organisations currently enacting the proxy war against all dissenters of the Western capitalist global axis of control.  Both Russia and China are very concerned to stop the expansionism of the West into this Middle Eastern region which is critical for current global energy supplies.

A common human trait is to want to cause harm to an oppressor to "teach them what it feels like".  Right or wrong that is to be expected.  These global machinations and vying for power are not only conflicts between nations or corporate interests because they depend upon the molecular substance of power which is the people.  These conflicts require people to be threatened and damaged as the manifestation of the power for the competition to even exist.  But these people are not the nations or the corporate interests.  They are people trying to live their lives.  The vast majority want peace and equity.

From Che Guevara through Barder Mainhoff to Osama bin Laden people have tried to oppose the oppression of the overriding political superstructure which constrains and inhibits the individual creative potential of the molecular population of people.  These oppositional forces of violence are routinely used to justify more oppression and, as such, become seen as part of the problem.  There is a feedback of oppression and abuse all stimulating and nurturing the very worst of human potential.  They conjure and manifest the most primordial terror in people's hearts and souls.

Then on Monday 22 May a bomb explodes at the Ariana Grande concert for young people killing more than 20 innocent civilians in the Manchester Arena.  Do I need to say more?  If you don't understand we are at war then you need to rethink your definition of war.  The war is between the inherent individual autonomous power and fabricated entities of power in the form of Nation States, Corporations, Ideologies and authoritarian political control.  The current UK election campaigning is stopped.  Arab terrorists are "blamed".  More fear, more anger, and more aggression.

My political campaigning doesn't stop.  I have more respect for the victims, both alive and dead, of this abhorrent violence.  There are always choices to be made.  The Tory Party indulges in authoritarian, imperialistic, oppression and violence, with threats and murder to control both the world and its own population.  With Jeremy Corbyn at the helm, the current Labour Party espouses equity, investment in people not corporations, reduction of violence and profiteering from the weapons of war.  He pursues policies to engage in talks with warring factions and the reduction of violence.  He believes that a well fed, well occupied, well educated population is happier for all and produces more creative results for humanity at large.

No doubt there will be many claims of "false flag" and many rather tenuous if not crazy theories involving the Illuminati, the Bilderberg Group, the IMF, Jews, Russians, Globalisation, Aliens, and possibly Noddy and Big Ears.  None of these will be bereft of any connection with reality and none will provide enough understanding alone to significantly improve the situation.  Maybe, metaphorically, we are slowly awakening to the terror within that is a global threat as if an invasion from "outside" Aliens.  At some point this pursuit of violence will cease.  We cannot end violence with violence and we will either find another way or humanity will simply destroy itself.

More than anything else if you want the violence to stop then stop pursuing the violence.  Find another way.

Monday, 13 March 2017


Woke up in a unique fabricated illusion.  It's mine.  It's what is loosely referred to as "me".  But I am not the illusion.  If there were an "I" then I am the perspective.

What is Art?  Give me a fucking huge grant and a prestigious position in an international Art Institution then I'll tell you.  Annie Lennox singing Sweet Dreams springs to mind.  "Everybody's looking for something."  I can't give everybody what they want because everybody is looking for something different.  Some of them want to abuse me.  Some of them want to be abused.

Finding an anchor point, a rock to stand on, a fixed perspective, is nigh on impossible.  It's all relative and any reference point is relative to something else.  It is nice when you can hear someone shouting abuse at you and you can see their trauma instead of feeling their pain.  It is good when you can remain calm in a tumultuous sea of despair.  There is a world of difference, however, between a sanctimonious privileged hypocrite condescending feigned stoicism and a calm spiritually centred mystic.

When people altercast at you they are simply projecting their trauma.  They are falsely holding on to a fixed reference point putting any disturbance or deviation down to you.  They are like a snake that needs a fixed object as leverage before it can crush you to death.  But being human inside these volatile circumstances it is not possible to be a static external unmoved observer.

So when the pressure increases and your family turn against you and your government slowly destroys you and every which way you turn you cannot find anyone with any influence who is not going to conspire with the cultural consensus to cut off your oxygen and suffocate you to death it all begins to feel hopeless.  I'll commit suicide.  That'll teach them.  Then they'll be sorry.  But that's been done before and it won't teach them anything and they'll probably be glad to be rid of me.  I know; I'll take out a few "innocents" with me.  I'll go into the Council Offices with a bomb and blow the whole place up.  That'll make people wonder what the fuck was going on.  No it won't.  It's been tried before.  I know ... I have a better idea, I'll kill my daughter.  That will really fuck with their minds.  That'll make them realise how hideous they are.  That'll make them sorry and finally they will pay attention to me and stop trying to kill me.  Hmm ... That won't work either.  They'll just blame it all on me and walk away muttering to themselves about how dreadful I am and why I should be terminated.  There must be a better way.


What I'll do is send my daughter into the world to be abused by them.  I'll let them pursue her and hound her and accuse her and finally murder her.  Then everyone will be shocked.  Then they'll realise what they're doing.  Then they'll feel sorry for me and try to make reparations and worship me and adore me and love me in a desperate attempt to atone for their demonic crimes.  Then I'll have them under my thumb.  They'll never be able to forgive their own despotic, ruthless, bestial, cruel, vicious nature.  They will forever be under my control.

There's one small problem with that.  It's been tried before.  When everything else fails send your son into the world and create such a fucking humungous guilt complex that for thousands of years humanity will suffer in the hell of its own insatiable guilt.  They'll escalate you to a God and worship and adore you forever.  They'll even repeatedly commit genocide for you and in your name.  How's that for success?

Oh well - I guess I'll meander off and think of something more creative to do with my time.

Friday, 10 March 2017


Some years ago I was shouting about the problem.  Now I am sitting here in front of a computer with many thoughts going round in my head.  To those who don't understand let me make it clear that physically I feel sick with distress.  Today I can get up and go for a walk or cook something to eat.  For those of you who don't understand I say FUCK OFF AND DIE.  Oh dear - does that sound offensive?  Try flechette missiles for babies it's much more fun.  And here's the thing - some of them don't die, they just suffer and are traumatised and maimed.  What fun.

I made the profound error of believing the bullshit spewed out by those in authority.  I paid attention.  Strange phrase that.  I "paid".  I was attentive and aligned myself as much as possible with their desired perspective.  I agreed that kindness was a good thing.  I agreed that honesty and equality and good intentions were values to be cherished.  I was always the first to "bury the hatchet", make way for others, tolerate mistakes and generally be amenable to those around me.

So now I am shocked to my foundations to find that really the people espousing those ideas and dictating to those smaller, younger and weaker than themselves do not abide by their own values.  They, instead, abuse these values to maintain their advantageous position over others.  In fact they derelict those values, they dispose of them, they turn them on their head and lie and cheat and assault and deceive to harm other people to maintain their own pleasure.

There is no way for me to acquire this fabricated commodity called money demanded by others to afford me the capacity to live.  I can't make my own way because they have built a fraudulent system of ownership to ensure there is no place for me outside of their constructs.  I am caught in a trap.  And for those currently immersed in the illusion of this fake materialist culture, this fairground of death, it seems you only have to comply to eke a living and be saved.

But if you do not fit the cultural requirement you are deemed a misfit, a reject, a veritable aberration.  You are, in fact, categorically disposable.  This culture is polarising around the amazingly insane idea that a pyramid economy can continue to improve whilst undermining the very foundations of its success.  This culture is consuming itself.  And the first to be annihilated are always the children, the poor, the elderly, the frail, the unemployed, and the sick.

If you have a job and a house and a currently sustainable way of life in this materialistic Western Culture and you judge, dismiss, ignore, or condemn those who are worse off than you, then you are guilty of a most insidious transgression.  If you do not lend your humanity to opposing the escalating insanity of this culture then you are feeding it and part of it and as guilty as any of those in power who are creating it.  And for those ignorant, self satisfied, sanctimonious, hypocritical religious freaks:  Don't go to church - GOD FUCKING HATES YOU.